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Текст для читання на тему: At the Appetite Cure (after Mark Twain)
| 27.11.2010, 14:08 | |
| At the Appetite Cure (after Mark Twain) This establishment's name is Hoch-berghaus. It is in Bohemia, a short day's journey from Vienna, and is, of course, a health resort. The Austrian Empire is made up of health resorts; it distributes health to the whole world. Its waters are all medical. They are bottled and sent throughout the earth; the natives themselves drink beer. This is of course self-sacrifice. All unhealthy people ought to stay in Vienna and make flights from time to time to the outlying resorts, according to need. A flight to Marienbad to get rid of fat, a flight to Carlsbad to get rid of rheumatism, a flight to Kaltenleutgeben to take the water cure and get rid of the rest of the diseases. And there are plenty of other health resorts near Vienna. Among them this place — Hochberghaus. It is called the Appetite Establishment, and people who have lost their appetites come here to get restored. When I arrived I was taken by Professor Heimberger to his consulting room and questioned: "It is six o'clock. When did you eat last time?" "At noon". Тексти для читання та аудіювання "What did you eat?" "Next to nothing". "What was on the table?" "The usual things". "Chops, chickens, vegetables, and so on?" "Yes, but don't mention them — I can't bear it". "Are you tired of them?" "Oh, completely. I wish I might never hear of them again". The doctor thought for a short time, then got out a long menu and ran his eye slowly down it. "I think", said he, "that what you need to eat is — but here, choose for yourself". I glanced at the list and shuddered. At the top stood "tough, underdone tripe, garnished with garlic", then "young cat, old cat, cat with eggs, sailor-boots". I said: "Doctor, it is not honest to joke over such a serious case as mine. I came here to get an appetite, not to throw away what's left". He said seriously, "I am not joking" "But I can't eat these horrors" "Oh, you will like them. They are very good. And you must eat them. It is the rule of the place, and is strict. I cannot permit any departure from it". "Well, then, doctor, you will have to permit the departure of the patient. I am going". He looked hurt. "I am sure you would not do me that injustice. This appetite cure is my whole living. If you should leave the establish¬ment with the soft of appetite which you have now, it could become known, and people would say my cure failed in your case and can fail in other cases. Please, do not go". I apologized and said I would stay. "That is right. I was sure you would not go; it would take the food from my family's mouths". "Would they mind that? Do they eat these barbarous things?" "They? My family? Of course not". "Oh, they don't'. Do you?" "Certainly not" "I see. It's another case of a physician who doesn't take his own medicine". "I don't need it. It is six hours since you lunched. Will you have supper now or later?" "I am not hungry, but now is as good time as any, and I would like to be done with it and have it off my mind. It is about my usual time, and regularity is advised by all the authorities. Yes, I will try to eat a little now". The professor handed me that hate¬ful menu. "Choose or will you have it later?" "Oh, dear me, show me to my room; I forget your hard rule". "Wait just a moment before you fi¬nally decide. There is another rule. If you choose now, the order will be filled at once, but if you wait, you will have to await my pleasure. You cannot get a dish from that many until I give my permission". "All right. Show me to my room, and send the cook to bed" The professor showed me into the comfortable apartment consisting of sitting-room, bedroom and a bathroom. The professor said he would not leave me to myself, and added: "Smoke and read as much as you please, drink all the water you like. When you get hungry, ring and give you order, and I will decide whether it shall be filled or not. Yours is a bad case, and I think the first fourteen dishes in the menu are too delicate for you. Texts for Reading and Listening Please restrain yourself and do not call for them". "Restrain myself, is it? You are going to save money by me. The idea of restor¬ing a sick man's appetite with this food is clear madness". "Yours is not the worst case I have met with: still it is a bad one and re¬quires serious treatment; I shall be de¬lightful if you will restrain yourself and begin with № 15" Then he left me and I began to un¬dress for I was very tired and sleepy. I slept fifteen hours and woke up finally refreshed at ten the next morning. 1 thought of Vienna coffee. I rang and ordered it; also Vienna bread. The ser¬ vant spoke through the door. He referred me to the menu. I allowed him to go. After the bath I dressed and was going to have a walk, and got as far as the door. It was looked on the out¬side. I rang and the servant came and explained that it was another rule. The patient was allowed to get out only after the first meal. I was eager to get out. Soon I began to find it difficult to put in the time. At 2 o'clock I had been twenty-six hours without food. I was very hungry now, yet I was not hungry enough to eat the dishes from the menu. I must put in the time, so I began to read. The books were all of the kind — people lost in deserts, starving peo¬ple. I read about the disgusting things that the men had to eat under the cir¬cumstances. Hours passed and I was ready to or¬der the second dish in the menu, which was a sort of dumplings containing a compost made of caviar and tar. It was refused me. During the next fifteen hours I was ringing the bell from time to time and ordered a dish that was further down in the list. Always a re¬fusal. I was moving slowly up to № IS. At last when I had been without food for sixty hours, I ordered № IS. "Boiled chicken and eggs" In fifteen minutes it was there, and the doctor along with it rubbing his hands with joy. He said with great ex¬citement: "It is a cure! I know I could do it. Dear sir, my great system never fails — never. You've got your appetite back" "Now I can eat anything in the menu!" "Oh, this is noble. How are the birds?" "Never was anything so delicious in the world. But don't interrupt me. I can't spare my mouth, I really can't". Then the doctor said: "The cure is perfect. There is no more doubt nor danger. Let the poultry alone; I can allow you to eat a beefsteak now". The beefsteak came — (and a very big one) — with potatoes, and Vienna bread and coffee; and I ate the meal with a great appetite. I dropped tears of gratitude on the beefsteak all the time — gratitude to the doctor for putting a little plain common sense into me when I had been empty of it is so many, many years. | |
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